Forrest Trump—Tear down this so-called wall, so we can make a bigger one!

Bill O’Reilly interviewed President Grab-Her-By-The-Pussy yesterday. It was the standard Trump interview. Lots of insane things were said, like Trump’s claim that the United States is full of killers, which makes us no better than Putin. (?) Trump also repeated that he was against the war in Iraq from the beginning. Which is like when I told people in college that I had lost my virginity in high school. #alternativefacts

Anyway, Trump also briefly discussed the wall he wants to build along our border with Mexico. And that got me thinking. What if Trump had given Reagan’s famous, “Tear down this wall speech”?








Thank you, thank you. Very special day here. Other presidents like JFK came here—great, great guy, JFK.  My former opponent’s father killed him. Terrible. Terrible. The media is so biased. They won’t tell you that. They won’t. But thank you. JFK came here too. He’s dead. Terrible. Probably would have voted for me.

Many, many people are listening to this historic speech. Many people. Western Europe. Soviets. Japan. Other Asians. The Mexicans. Everyone. Some were saying this would be the most watched speech ever. More than my last speech. That speech was very, very well received. You probably know that. I think everybody knows that, right? It was great, wasn’t it? (clapping)

Now, behind me is a wall. (gesturing) It’s okay, it’s okay. Could be bigger, frankly. Not like the Chinese one. The Chinese have this wall. Even better than your wall. Your wall is okay. It’s okay. The Chinese wall, though, right? It’s huge. Huge. Your wall, could be better. Much better. I can build it for you. I beat China all the time. All the time. I know China very well, because I deal with China all the time. I’ve done very well myself, by the way. Very well.

This wall will keep out the Soviets. They are killers, you know? Killers. They are dead, like JFK. Terrible. Just terrible. If only there were a wall on those grassy knolls. When the Soviets sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. JFK, so tragic.

And the Soviets will pay for it. One hundred percent. One hundred percent. They don’t know it yet, but they’re going to pay for it. And they’re great people and great leaders but they’re going to pay for the wall. The wall will be a physical, tall, power, beautiful, just beautiful wall. Much bigger than this. Much bigger. The media reports it’s a fence. But it’s a wall. So, remember this, okay? I would say we are going to build a bigger wall and people would go crazy. I would then say, who is going to pay for the wall? And people would all scream out — 25,000, 30,000 people, because nobody has ever had crowds like Trump has had. You know that. The media doesn’t like to report that, but that’s okay.

Mr. Gorbachev, let’s tear down this so-called wall, so we can make a bigger one! A real wall. This wall is sad. Just sad. We can do better.

Thank you. I love you. God bless you, everybody. God bless you. God bless you, thank you.

-Fred (@bleakblog)